You CAN Survive Bullies

     It’s so incredible how explosive bullying has become. All of us at one point or another have been bullied and harassed in our childhood by those looking for an easy mark. Although we didn’t see suicide as a way out of it, we did let it affect our lives in many ways.

     I was a quiet, shy and poor only child and was an easy prey. In elementary school, I got the hell beat out of me by older boys (WTF?) and was called all kinds of names up under the sun. Because my mom didn’t know how to cornrow (braid down the scalp for those who may not know the lingo), she did the best that she could with my very short hair. Needless to say, I was taunted mercilessly. I wasn’t an ugly girl but was a plain Jane. My family nickname didn’t help me one bit either (not telling you). I got it from school kids and family members too. I was the one with a huge target on her back for kids who needed to feel better about themselves. And oooh my gawd when I started puberty, it got worse.  I'm not a psychologist so I can't go into why they did it but something was effed up in them to be mean.

     As I got older and started to fill out more, the constant teasing, snickering, name calling, back stabbing, mockery continued. My mom couldn’t offer me any solace because she was battling her own demons of depression, drugs, alcohol etc. I couldn’t fight so those who wanted to, handled me. I had a few friends but at times they went along with the crowd. Any moment they could find, they chimed right on in. Because of my mom’s unfortunate status, we, along with a plethora of other people, lived in ONE room. THAT didn’t help me at all. My mom’s addictions exposed me to some seedy men which could have gone terribly wrong (that’s another story). I felt alone. I withdrew into my own little world and kept to myself. My confidence level was non-existent. Inside and outside I couldn’t find any normalcy. Even through all of that, I didn’t drink, smoke or commit to a promiscuous lifestyle as it was all around me. People are still baffled by that and I too often think how in the world I made through all of that ‘untouched’. God was with me all of that time and I didn’t even know anything about Him. After leaving home for college (THANK YOU SO MUCH JESUS!!!!), I started to experience a different world. Meeting new people, doing different things opened me up just a little more.

     Long story short (and I can tell you more), I survived. Do I have trust issues to date? Yes. Is it hard for me to let people in my heart? Hellz yes! But as I get older, I’m learning more about myself and I’m loving me more than ever. Because of God’s grace, I see a different me. I still have a lot of work to do, but at least I’m not the same little shy girl. I WISH I had the ballz I have now back then.  OMG things would have been extremely different but things happen for their reasons.  Does it help that the lives of many of those who taunted me turned out to be far worse off than I, wwwwwwelllll I’m not gloating on anyone’s misfortunes because God says ‘judge not lest ye be judged’ so I’m careful not to think on those things.

     With the advent of technology, I can’t even imagine the level of torture that today’s youth are going through but they have to fight! Fight back on the same level ground. Use your faith and ask God for wisdom. Emotional scars are devastating so you must nip your harassers in the bud now before you carry them for the rest of your lives. If you are physically bullied, PLEEEEEEASE do not be afraid to tell someone. People are looking for attention any way they can get it but DON’T let it be at your expense. Buck up and believe that you are WORTH MORE THAN ANY TREASURE ON EARTH!! You CAN SURVIVE!!

;-) Juliann