My Pinkie & Me

It can be a look that intimidates.

The blood curling stare of someone’s entrails oozing with hate.

Did I say something to piss you off?

What…what did I do to make you scoff?

Maybe if I said the right things or did what I was told…

Perhaps if I changed my ways…you wouldn’t have had to scold

The first slap I thought was cute. You loved me.

The first punch, I knew you hated me.

Silence, though, was the worst blow.

Saying nothing – just ignoring my presence – killed me slow.

Fear was too great to make me leave.

No one wanted me – you made me believe.

I remember one night…you woke me up with your knee in my back

Pain gripped me, my breath left me as you continued to attack

You took my pinkie and twisted it until it almost ripped from the seem

The demon crooned from your lips and said that you just wanted to hear me scream

Why didn’t I leave then?

Why did I stay in the devil’s den?

No one wanted a fat girl you told me twice

No one wanted me – I had to play nice

Do you remember the kitten you beat ‘til it died?

You took your size 12 sneaker and pummeled it – “stop it!” I cried

What drove you to do that murderous deed?

Were you a man or demon hungry to feed?

Still…I stayed. I thought I couldn’t do any better.

I stayed…not knowing that I could do better.

Your family thought it was my fault. Of course they would

Why would they think their golden child was a demonic hood?

When I was forced into doing something I KNEW was wrong just to keep you,

They didn’t want me around you as if it was I who corrupted you!

The unkind words; the steely glazes and hood-rat attitudes killed me

I showed you and them kindness but in return you all shunned me

Your friends thought you were the man because you had me ‘handled’ like a boss.

I fed you. I clothed you. I endured ridicule from my family & friends -so many I loss.

I was low. Lower than low because I knew no better.

I thought I could do no better.

So still…I stayed,

Continuing to endure your demonic sway.

But

One

Day

I

Woke

Up!

Jesus found me and gave me something I never knew I could have…LIFE!

You couldn’t even recognize me when I told you to leave so you played the ‘love’ card and told me you wanted me to be your wife!

Really? Really, dude? You thought that was an upgrade?

Perhaps BC (before Christ), I would have changed my mind and carried on with the charade.

But

I

Stayed

Awake!

Now…I live free.

My pinkie and me.